Long-Distance Military Relationship

Did you know that there are currently over 7 million people in a long distance relationship in the world right now? I am going to talk a little about being in a long distance relationship. But specifically a military relationship. June of 2016, I graduated high school and was ready for summer to start, while also being excited to start my first year of college in the Fall. Little did I know I was going to meet someone who would be my partner for life, specifically a United States Marine. (By the way, sorry if this is a little cheesy).

We met online through mutual friends on Facebook and the crazy thing is, he was in Alaska finishing up his deployment from Japan, Korea, and Alaska, and I was all the way over here in Massachusetts! We started to talk and we hit it off from there. He was unlike anyone I had ever met and I thought that he had the coolest job ever. He works on F-18 jets and maintains the pilot's oxygen circulation in the cockpit as well as maintaining the ejection seat in case of an emergency.

We met for the first time in July of 2016 when he came out to Massachusetts on leave for a week. He lives in the next town over from me. After his first deployment, he was stationed out in San Diego, CA and invited me to his Marine Corps Ball. My parents were a little skeptical at first about me traveling to California by myself, but they had met him in July and knew it would be good for me to go. I have now been to 3 of his Marine Corps Balls in California, have traveled to California 8 times since the first time I went out there, and I am happily engaged to the love of my life.

My fiancé and I at his Marine Corps Ball 2018

Alright, enough about how we met and how our relationship all started. I wanna talk about the struggles and hardships that come along with being in a military long distance relationship. There are 3 main points that continue to be the most difficult, but are also the most important. The first one is communication. With me being in Massachusetts and him being in California, I am sure you can see why communication can be tough. He works every day, usually long hours and I am at school and work during the day. It is very important to find time to talk to each other and make time to communicate. Whether it be texting, talking on the phone, or Facetiming, anything is better than nothing. Without communication, you won't be able to tell the other person how you feel about certain things and this can be a problem in relationships. We always try to plan out when we will Facetime each other for the week and we always text and call each other whenever we are both free.

My second point is trust. Now this is a hard one for most people in relationships now a days, but just think about how hard it is when your significant other is all the way across the country from you and you only get to see them 2-3 times a year, and having to wait 4-5 months before seeing them next. It’s hard, trust me! This one is really hard for me because I can be a very jealous person and trusting people is hard for me. As my relationship went on, I have gotten much better at this. It helps that me and my fiance have the same values in life, which has reassured me many times that everything is going to be okay. If you don’t trust the other person in your relationship, first of all why are you in it ? Trust is key, and without it, you will fall apart.

Our Engagement November 2017

My third point is understanding. Understanding that my significant other is in the military and he has things that he needs to do that I might not like, such as going to the Middle East for a 6 month deployment (which did happen this year), and going on rescue dets for long weeks in places such as Idaho, Las vegas, Key West, and San Francisco. It is hard for me to understand sometimes that this is his job and even though it means I won’t be able to talk to him that much or see him, I need to understand that he has made a commitment to the United States military and there is nothing I can do about it but support him.

After hearing my story and saying that I have been in a successful long distance military relationship for almost 2 and a half years now, people think I am crazy and always ask how in the world do we do it. It all comes down to communication, trust, and understanding. As hard is it is, I am happy to say that in June of 2019 my fiance’s 5 year contract with the Marine Corps will be up and he will finally be coming home back to Massachusetts for good. This has been a crazy but amazing journey for me and I never would have thought back in June of 2016 that I would be where I am now, especially planning my wedding! I am grateful that all of my family and friends have supported me through this relationship and have always been there for me when I am feeling lonely or sad, or just need someone to talk to. Thank you reading my sappy love story and always remember that no matter if your relationship is long distance, a military relationship, or if you are lucky enough to be with your significant other almost everyday, that communication, trust, and understanding will always be the key points to make your relationship a great one.

My fiancé getting promoted to Sergeant